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My memory is fairly tragic so I don't actually remember this happening, but I do recall my mother telling the story over and over again. Apparently I was around five or six which would have made my sister three or four at the time. A neighbor boy, let's call him BJ got one of those motorized cars and was driving it up and down the sidewalk. Sister and I were outside as well, being typical 90's kids, when BJ pulled up to me and asked if I wanted a ride. Always overly cautious and apprehensive, I squirmed and puzzled over taking the ride. Before I could tell BJ my final decision, (probably that I wasn't going to go because “nigga are you a safe driver?!”) sister rushed past me and hopped into the car bellowing "I'LL GO!" And off they were, because that’s how sister was and still is, utterly unapologetic and fearless.
We were pretty tight as kiddies (from what I can vaguely recall.) However, as a teen I became a complete turd. I found myself trying to separate myself from my sister. First weaseling away from our joint birthday parties, and then isolating myself in my room and becoming an insufferable miss-know-it-all. (May I just add that though I am no longer insurable, I still know it all.) Basically I was a complete BITCH and I can only assume it was due to hormones and the fact that my sister has always been cooler and more badass then me. I was trying to acquire my own identity outside of the one we had together. (Maybe if you spoke to her she would say otherwise but this is my platform so... I win.)
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| Summer 2013, just our regular ish |
Luckily high school went as swiftly as it came and hormones seem to balance themselves out. Partially because I was no longer a raging troll and probably because its now just her and me; sister and I have become two peas in a pod. We are two very different peas, but there is no one on this earth with whom I’m more in sync. (Sorry other homies, lover and friends.) Furthermore as of late a peculiar thing has happened. Sister has taken on the role of big sister. (Yes I'm the BIG SISTER!! even though I'm shorter and more child-like, I am FIRST BORN.)
My entry (and hers as well) into adulthood has been tumultuous to say the least. I've buried both of my parents, dealt with money and legally documents that I will probably never understand. I’ve sold a house, started and quit three jobs, cried a lot, saw a therapist, smiled a ton and have generally felt overwhelmed and confused on a daily basis. Since I held the status of elder sister, (or Head Bitch in Charge as I would rather it be termed) and I generally tolerate people more than Sister, many of these things fell on my lap. There was no roadmap or warning and I've spent the majority of the last couple of years figuring ish out and piecing it together. It’s really too much for anyone to deal with especially a “baby-adult”. Needless to say, in the last year I've thrown in the towel and sister has picked up all of my slack.
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| A page from my scrapbook |
I can't count the number of times I've called her in tears, or in a general state of panic and confusion. She has been my voice of reason, my confidant, my adult girlfriend, my editor and most of all my champion. Her words of encouragement have helped me punch my insecurities in the face and to do what is best for ME. Her advice hasn't always been rosey, (sister is the type who will tell you where to go and then provide you a roadmap of how to get there) but she has always told me the truth with my best interests at heart.
So on this National Sibling Day I want to say thank you to my little big sister. You are the true witch and I am a mere squib.
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| "When we were young we were brave but we didn't know it..." |
#LiveForYou
xoxoxoxo Chocolate Girl in the City xoxoxox
PS. Sister, sorry for humiliating you with this post.